Category Archives: Families

Developing a child’s imagination and creativity

ww_monkey-on-deskIn January I decided I would be more organised but February (as you will learn later in the story) will be the creative month. I remind my husband that being organised needn’t equate with tidiness. However, I am hugely excited that I can see at least part of my desk’s surface. I celebrated by placing a new stack of books on my desk; my husband celebrated by decluttering his bookcase which is always a concern.

I watched his hand move in the space above the row of travel guides we have, hovering over some, stroking others as memories flooded in then pausing on the books deemed redundant or unwanted.

One of the books he decided to discard was a Lonely Planet guide to Libya. I picked it up, and flicked through its pages, reflecting upon how fortunate we had been to visit Libya before the Arab Spring movement and the removal of Gaddafi propelled this country into turmoil and unrest. This was one of those books that very few people if any would want but as he tossed it towards the bin I had an idea and grabbed it mid-air. An idea was already careering like a camel across the sand dunes of my mind.

Harry, my 5-year-old grandson was spending time with us and we had exhausted the usual activities I use to keep him occupied. I leafed through the book, examining the pictures of far-off places, people and exotic animals.

‘Your cousins are visiting the Canberra zoo soon, but why don’t we make our own zoo?’ I suggested. He looked a little puzzled but expressed interest. I tasked him to get the scissors and pencils, directed him to where the craft and brown paper was stored, while I made a paste of water and flour for glue and ‘a collecting we went.’

‘Just like Gerald Durrell,’ I told him and I had happy time telling him about this amazing man and how he had travelled the globe collecting animals for zoos.

We had a glorious time. An entire afternoon was spent discussing the places we would visit and the animals we might find. Harry cut out the images and pasted them onto the brown paper. As he did this, we talked about the animals, where they lived and what they ate.

ww_creating-the-zoo-with-harryAfter this Harry drew the zoo with an entry gate and pathways to visit the various animals. He wrote their names on signs then drew trees and plants to feed the animals and a café with tables and chairs for Nanna Sooz and Harry to have an iced coffee and a chocolate milkshake when we got thirsty.

This led to a ‘Zoo’ game where we visited the animals and talked about where they had come from. After that Harry wanted to continue the game, with him choosing to be a monkey and Nanna the elephant chasing each other around my small garden.

ww_creating-the-zoo-with-tomThis game made me realise how powerful our imagination is. Using my life experiences, I could gently nudge him towards imagining a world he had never seen and create a story and a game that filled hours of our time. I have been reading a lot about brain development in children and how creative play and using imagination encourages a child’s cognitive development particularly in the areas of language articulation and self-regulation of emotions.

Recently a travel brochure landed on my desk, filled with beautiful illustrations for holidays to faraway places which for many reasons this year I am unlikely to visit. I couldn’t stop Harry from getting a brain tumour but I can darn well do everything a Nanna can do to help his young brain recover.

Harry in November 2016I foresee some wonderful expeditions with Harry as we explore exotic lands, go collecting and meet strangers in other countries. Who knows what all this information will be used for later in life. He may study conservation and sustainability like his clever uncle, become a zoologist or scientist, be an explorer or spend his life travelling and writing. As Shakespeare said, ‘…the world’s mine oyster…’.

 

Wooden boats on our creek

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“There’s nothing-absolutely nothing-half so much worth doing

as messing about in boats.”

Kenneth Grahame’s words from my childhood sprang into my mind as clearly as if I was sitting reading Wind in the Willows rather than watching children messing around with small wooden boats. It was an unseasonally hot spring day and I was enjoying my last lunchtime in Paris munching a baguette while sitting next to the Grand Bassin in the Jardin de Luxembourg. The murmur of lunching office workers drifted past on the breeze interrupted by the occasional shout of glee from a group of young men kicking a ball around on the terrace behind me. More interesting were the manoeuvres taking place around the pond in front of me where our future naval commanders ran while they shouted encouragement to their yachts which were skittering across the water.

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Armed with just a small pole some of these children nearly fell in with their enthusiasm to push their boat off from the side and out towards the Armada assembling at the centre of the pond. This flotilla of boats, about 24 in all, sailed under different flags including the pirate flag. There were shouts of delight as they watched them sailing in a gentle breeze, lean over with the gusts and then go about. Arguments would develop when one boat rammed another, and competitions were hosted to get to the other side.

Watching these children at play reminded me of summer afternoons spent playing in the lagoon on Cylinder beach on Stradbroke Island with my son and daughter. Their source of entertainment were two wooden yachts. These gorgeous boats were handmade, with fabric sails hoisted by string and tied with small hooks. They sailed beautifully and were in constant use over the summer holidays.

Playing in the lagoon at Straddie

On the flight home I racked my brain trying to remember where these may have been stored because they are not the sort of toy to give away even after a child has progressed to other toys. Sadly, I think they were left at the beach house when my parents sold it and I hope another child had the opportunity to sail them on the lagoon over their childhood summers.

Thirty years later my son has two little boys just entering the right age to use small boats like these so I decided I would find wooden boats for them. This is not as easy as it sounds because plastic boats are cheaper and computer toys more popular. ‘A heritage toy that is out of date,’ one store assistant told me. A phrase came to my mind, ‘Slow Toy’ which after much research, I discovered was a movement started by Thierry Bourret in 2011 to offer children toys that encouraged them to use their imagination and that stood the test of time.

Angus playing in lagoon on Straddie,

After much searching online I found the maker of these wooden boats in France with a retail outlet in Lille. I almost leaped on a plane straight away but was held back by my husband who fortunately was soon spending a few days in Lille so he was tasked not to come home without two small wooden boats in his suitcase. As soon as he had finished his meetings, rather than play tourist, this wonderful man dragged his travelling companion around the streets of Lille until he found the shop and had then had the joyous task of choosing the hull and sail colours. We are now the proud owners of two little timber boats and they will never be given away. The Tirot business was started in 1946 in Brittany and is continuing to produce wooden boats that really do float and catch the wind in their sails.

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I was so excited when I picked up the two beautifully wrapped packages, I kept poking the paper like a child. No way was I going to wait until Christmas to give the boys their boats. They came over the following weekend and I loved watching their faces when they unwrapped their presents. I found very old photos of their dad and his sister playing with their boats in the lagoon and together we planned a boating expedition to our local creek. Now I will have the next generation messing around with boats.

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We are so lucky to have a creek at the bottom of our street which curves its way through acres of parkland and bush reserve. Although a lot of the banks are covered in weeds which local groups are trying to eradicate, there are now areas which are accessible for parents and children to paddle and play in the water. Armed with our boats, the three of us walked down to the creek looking for a sandy beach area where we could launch our vessels. It had rained recently and there was lots of water swirling across the pebbles and around the reeds growing down to the edges.

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The warm afternoon air was tinged with the smell of ‘curry grass’ which grows in large clumps by the creek while above us in the trees, Lorikeets squabbled and fed on the eucalypt flowers.  It was too early for most walkers and we had the creek to ourselves. Only the ducks watched as we wobbled our way over the rocks and onto a small pebbly beach beside one of the bicycle crossings. There was just sufficient breeze to send the little boats off into the centre of the creek where of course Nanna had to wade and return them. We made ports, dams and moated castles for the pirates to raid. Large juicy tadpoles were collected and let loose in the dam to be bombed very inaccurately using bright blue Quandong berries as catapults. I had two junior admirals telling their midshipman what to do. Their laughter at Nanna getting wetter by the moment was like water music.

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There was so much to do, with digging and sailing, exploring and swimming. Two-year old Tommy had no fear of the water and would head out to the middle of the creek very happily falling into large holes and almost disappearing below the surface with me hot on his heels. It was then as I bent to retrieve this sodden child I noticed a long snake swimming across the creek towards us. I grabbed the struggling toddler and using as calm a voice as I could muster I asked 5-year old Harry to climb onto the bank. ‘What’s a bank, Nanna?’ he asked.

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This was when I realised the snake had changed direction and was being swept towards Harry. With Tom on my hip and moving as fast as my water filled Wellingtons would allow I scooped Harry up telling him to lift his legs above the water. Both the children sensed something and were still and quiet as we watched the snake swirl past on the current and swim onto the creek bank where it slithered into the grass. The mood of the afternoon had changed dramatically and we decided we would feed the ducks instead of playing pirates. I hadn’t quite anticipated that type of excitement when I had suggested an adventure but it provided much discussion at home with Harry’s mother telling me that he kept asking about what snakes ate, where they lived and where they slept.

It was a lovely afternoon with a ‘Slow Toy’. We exercised our imagination, made up stories, created scenarios and used the sand and pebbles on the creek bank to build our castles. I cannot wait to do it again but this time Grandpa can come as Game Warden.

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Remembrance Day 2016

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Never forgotten

Each night I get a dose of what my husband calls ‘war porn’.  No, I am not into video battle games or S&M in the bedroom this is what I see when I turn on the television and watch the evening news whilst preparing dinner.

The kitchen commando is particularly sensitive to what he perceives to be constructed war zone scenes and the excessive zeal of news correspondents dressed in combat gear.

I engage him in discussions on what he thinks is appropriate reporting, interrupted by the occasional critique, hurled like a missile at the computer screen.  His opinions I suspect are still based on experiences from the Vietnam War.

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Finding a Great-Uncle

I accuse him of being an armchair critic, safe in our bunker, whilst we watch whole communities disintegrating under enemy fire in far off sandy places. We see families wandering dazed from the bombardments their cities are being subjected to, with children being plucked out of rubble and raced to emergency vehicles. This is what he describes as soft war porn, ready images of the distressed individual, or the fighter wandering into the haze firing at unhittable targets. He dislikes the hyperbolic language used to present the ‘news’ for our voyeuristic delight.

More boring and less dramatically reported are the conditions that our troops are experiencing, the dust particles that tickle the nose, the energy sapping heat that makes you irritable, tired and less patient, the constant tension from always being alert to your alien and rarely welcoming environment.

Remembrance Day is a trigger to reflect on the service our men and women give to us in Australia and elsewhere defending and supporting the values and morals which makes this democratic country a safe haven in which to live.

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Reflecting on their sacrifice

Of course they are paid to do this, but when deployed they don’t leave if the conditions become uncomfortable and unsafe. They cannot turn away from the ghastly sights that unfold in front of them. War is brutal and horrible, there is no escaping from that fact. They don’t have a ‘trigger warning’ allowing them to distance themselves from this harrowing place they find themselves in. They cannot choose not to participate because it might cause them distress. They learn to deal with the issues, develop resilience and keep going in an environment that is often debilitating and toxic. But then they return home to a totally different world and sometimes find it difficult to convey to their families and friends the shattering effects it has on their mind and body.

 

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Villers-Bretonneux

In his tragic warrior, Ajax, the Greek tragedian Sophocles portrays the psychological wounds inflicted on Greek warriors after fighting in the Trojan War.   Twenty-five hundred years ago Ajax struggled to deal with the guilt over atrocities inflicted during that conflict.  This is often thought of as the first example of PTSD.

Living your life doesn’t mean that you spend your time in rosehip jelly, insulated from what we don’t want to see or hear about.  I watch friends coping with family  members suffering from PTSD and it isn’t easy. We aren’t living in a simulator where if it becomes too terrible we can turn it off and walk out of the room. No-one should have to deal with these ghosts by themselves.

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Today I will reflect not only on those who served and didn’t come home but on those who have returned and are dealing with life after what they have experienced. That can be just as challenging. No-one is ever the same when they return from the ‘Theatre of War’.

A father comes in many guises

Father’s Day in Australia really isn’t a big deal in our house. Of course I’ll have my father to lunch if he isn’t playing bridge or golf with his mates or lunching with his wife of 61 years. Our children might phone in to say hi, but if they don’t, their father isn’t going to be cast into the doldrums feeling neglected. He knows he is loved.

I, like other women I know, have played father to my children. Whether it was because of long hours at work, divorce, or death there have been many times when I have had to play the traditional role of father as well as mother.

Sailing Days

A competitive father and disgruntled daughter

I have kicked the football, thrown the cricket ball, discussed dating and sex education and offered the ‘don’t drink and drive’ advice often to a withering scowl. I have learnt to communicate in grunts and lived with nocturnal teenagers.

Web-The-Craigs-1My husband was in the reverse situation of playing mother to three boys and a girl. He adores them all and is immensely proud of his brood of 7 children and 10.5 grandchildren.

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What do you mean I cannot raise my daughter like the boys? It worked for these three fellows.

He is the first to admit that bring up a girl in a family of boys was a challenge.  He isn’t the most demonstrative of men, (read that as hugging), but he can cook a mean brownie to take to the school rugby and is prepared to defend his daughter’s honour, even when she doesn’t want him to.

Whether you are a father or mother, being a parent is equal parts fun, hard work, lonely, terrifying and exhilarating. It isn’t a role for that can be discarded when you are tired, busy at work or disinterested. It is a job that demands everything of you, it is draining emotionally and physically and you should not expect devotion; that is for the dog. Affection must be earned.

You will never stop being a parent no matter how old you grow as my Grandmother told me when she was 100 and still worrying about her girls. My father at 90, is not above giving me advice, nor is he above competing with his grandchildren when he can.

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Showing off

Fatherhood is fun but the competitive nature of the man keeps coming out. He has to climb higher trees, do what his kids do and do it better. For some obscure reason lost in the Neanderthal mists, he continues to compete despite the handicaps that age eventually imposes on his body. I doubt if we women are any less good at accepting age gracefully.Web-Canberr-trip-1998-3-(1)

I trained as a midwife and thought I was prepared for motherhood, but nothing prepares you for that gut wrenchingly complicated feeling when you hold your baby for the first time. As their stepfather says, ‘If you thought too deeply about fatherhood, you mightn’t do it.’Bill with newborn Angus

As a father (and mother) I accept that we are to blame as we started it all. Yes, I realise that you blame me for your separation anxiety dating from when you were forced to leave the home that you and your mother shared but you had to make room for the others. My fatherly advice is ‘Get over it.’

This is our father’s day message to you, our children. You are the most awesome, overwhelmingly frustrating and challenging thing we do in our lives and you changed us and our lives from the moment you arrived. We have adored being a mother and a father however, there are some points that we hadn’t anticipated including:

  • Never having a moment of privacy again and no, you cannot always cross swords with me when I am having a pee!
  • If you want to share my bath you had better stop complaining that Chanel No 5 is too girlie. There is a perfectly good shower over there that you can have on your own,Version 2
  • Our dog appreciates the delicious well-balanced meals I cook every evening even if you don’t so if you don’t like what I’ve cooked, help yourself to cereal and milk,
  • No, I don’t eat cold toast because the butter doesn’t melt; my toast, like all my food is always cold by the time I have cut yours up,
  • Experiencing that feeling of rejection when even at 4 years old you let me know that you prefer the company of your friends to me,

    Bill playing with Angus on Main Beach

    A new take on dermabrasion

  • being prepared to look like a fool in public and being chased around the house wearing a hat made from newspaper shouting Ninja at the top of my voice, but why do I always have to be the baddie,
  • Never catching a fish off the beach again because I am untangling little people’s lines

    Beach fishing for Gus and Jemma

    What do you mean that I never catch a fish?

  • Feeling utterly desperate when you are lying in a hospital bed running a fever,
  • Being appalled at my wish for you to grow up so that we can talk as adults,
  • Knowing where to find a hairdresser when the home dye job turns green,
  • Wishing you hadn’t grown up because you are drinking too much of my whiskey,
  • Being impressed when you turn up with a replacement bottle,

    Andy teaching Sophie to tie a bow tie

    Its easier when I do it on myself

  • Being furious that you don’t share my opinion but delighted that you have an opinion,
  • Being enormously proud of your every achievement,
  • Being asked for advice on your love life, knowing that you probably won’t take it and realising that we are the same – human and fallible.Old memories 6

 

For our family, father’s day is just another day to talk with each other, toast our strengths and peculiarities and take pleasure in each other’s company.

Mother’s Day 2016


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Mothering Sunday
: it was an opportunity to gather around the nine women in our two families that go back three generations and now followed by another two.
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We remembered and talked about our Great Grandmothers
who sat in rocking chairs and cradled newborns to sleep;

Our Grandmothers who listen while younger generations sound off against the world;

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Our Mothers old and young, attentive and there

even when you don’t want them to be; and

Our Indulgent aunts with whom we play.
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We reminisced, and toasted the many strong women in our lives.It was a lunch made with love by all, food with memories and meaning. Web-Marg-Tait-&-Angus-at-christening

We laughed at our foibles, and grimaced at our fiery moments.Sunshine flooded across the veranda, highlighting small boys climbing over chairs and balancing on tables.

Mothering is like that: a balance, not always even, easily tipped in another direction but naturally veering towards the centre.

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We don’t always get it right, occasionally mis-manage the situation but we never stop caring.  As my 100 year old Granny, once said, ‘ I still worry over my daughters.

 

 

 

Remembering the owl and the pussycat

Colin being benign_6867‘So my fave event about which I am most passionate is having dinner with my family.’ I floated my statement above the aroma from our dinner waiting for someone to nibble at the bait and expand on it. In the silence, I wondered whether they understood my teasing. Then came the laughter and their suggestions. Listening to the discussion bouncing between us reminded me that words are a pleasure and there is nothing better than to have a nonsensical conversation over good food and wine. Edward Lear’s Book of Nonsense with his clever prose and limericks was a favourite bed-time read.

I grew up with a mother who would write her rhymes in birthday cards and scrabble was frequently played after dinner. Before iPads, the Dictionary sat within reach of the table so that a point could be clarified. I encouraged my children to develop their skills in repartee, the better to extend their curfew times, and debate was often vigorous between us.

Captain A and I enjoy the power of eloquent language and frequently comment on the poor quality of reporting in our media.  The list published by the Lake Superior State University, Michigan of words people have found annoying and overused has been a source of discussion in the news and I have my contributions to that list.

‘So’ on that note I am suggesting two of my ‘faves’: event and passionate. Over summer in Australia we now have ‘rain events’ and ‘flood events’. Doesn’t it just rain with a flood being one of the consequences?

Recently at a women’s networking function every speaker said they were just so passionate about improving the lot of women in the workforce. You might feel strongly, even very strongly about equality but passionate. Sorry, passion is what I feel for my husband.

Colin in hot weather_2I would love to hear what my friends think are over-used or inappropriately used words. Send them through please.

 

Family and friends are so important

Celebrating Christmas with my parents.

Celebrating Christmas with my parents.

With our children and family scattered across the country and around the globe, Christmas has become an opportunity to enrich existing friendships and make new ones with this year being as much about waifs as family.

It was a time of sadness for our family as we farewelled a much-loved uncle and it made the Christmas meal shared with my parents even more precious. Despite being in their eighties they were determined to travel south to share this time with their daughters and family in Canberra and Sydney.

Christmas Eve 2014

Christmas Eve 2014

Christmas Eve was a treat with my son and his wife hosting our family. Gifts were exchanged with the two small boys probably enjoying the unwrapping as much as the gifts although the selfie stick seemed to be the most played with toy amongst the foolish grown-ups. I have yet to get my hands on it.

We dined well with each person bringing a plate and as usual over catering so we have been eating salads and cold meat for days but it was great fun and we were delighted to welcome my daughter’s flatmate to our celebrations.

Christmas morning 2014

Christmas morning 2014

Christmas morning was spent with a girlfriend and her family for whom Christmas is a particularly poignant time as she lost both her parents during this period some years earlier. We have known each other all our lives and she is as much a sister to me as my own sisters. She and her husband are incredibly loyal and generous friends and it was a special time spent reminiscing about past Christmases.

Christmas evening was truly a communal affair sharing delicious food and wine at a long table. Wonderful friends who still live in the ‘dead-end’ street in which I raised my family opened their home to everyone in the street plus various relatives, friends and waifs. Three generations from 90-year olds down toasted each other, celebrating life and friendship.

Two days later we sat with another son and daughter and their extended family from Germany and Holland sharing a fabulous lunch and watching small cousins play with each other.

These shared meals were so much fun I think this should be my aim for 2015: to continue the momentum and invite family, friends and strangers who won’t be strangers for long to join our table and share experiences.

Smart Girls wear glasses

To my niece the Nerd

My dear little exuberant niece will soon be wearing glasses and

her ditzy older sister is already calling her a nerd.

So I say to her, take that as a complement as I would rather be called a Nerd than a Ditz.

Having a brain and using it is better than merely having a pretty face.

Your Grandfather brought his four girls up to know

that you can always get a pretty face with makeup and surgery,

but you can’t change stupid.

Thus my little niece, focus on the clever successful Nerds.

Remember the quote attributed to Bill Gates,

‘Be nice to Nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.’

Glasses are a powerful weapon.

Just watch how Meryl Streep uses her glasses in The Devil wears Prada. Never underestimate the haughty effect of looking at someone over your glasses.

Glasses are fun and so sexy.

Watch Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s play with her glasses and you will have every boy in the neighbourhood chasing you.

Start you own Pinterest board of successful people who wear glasses.

Pin yourself and your family and friends. Add people you admire. Make it mixed, old and young, boys and girls, all professions.

‘Happiness is being a nerd’.

 Remember your fantastic brilliant mummy wears glasses

Set up a Pinterest board

for smart people wearing glasses and add your own picture.

So here’s to all the great and successful Nerds who wear glasses.

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This is a call to all my friends to send me a photo of someone they admire who wears glasses.

What makes a great marriage?

I was scanning some old photos recently and found this image, bent and crumpled a little like the characters are now. My parents signing the Marriage Register in London, Sid & Judy's wedding-signing registeraway from their Australian families whilst they studied and worked. Coincidentally yesterday was their 59th wedding anniversary.

Always generous, my father celebrated by taking my mother, a granddaughter and me to his favourite restaurant. Looking across the table at two very contented people prompted me to wonder what contributes towards making an enduring relationship.

Do examples in society around a young couple contribute to their attitude towards creating a strong and healthy marriage? Perhaps for my parents’ generation who wouldn’t have seen many of their parents being divorced but their example didn’t work for my sisters and me. What hope is there for my children when the average marriage lasts about 8.7 years?

The familiar saying that ‘differences attract’ might have some truth but only if those differences are not so strong that they prevent the couple from sharing experiences. How more different are the backgrounds of my father, whose parents emigrated from Italy in 1922 with very little money and limited English and my mother, a 5th generation Australian whose family was financially secure.

Yet they found their similarities to be so attractive that despite misgivings amongst their friends, ‘Marry him, but don’t drive with him,’ was proffered by a friend, they plunged into a marriage that has endured for 59 years. Neither of my parents can really define why it has worked so well, perhaps it seemed like a good idea at the time.

When I listen to their gentle bickering over a wrong bid at Bridge I wonder whether it is their competitive spirits that so attracted them? Perhaps when as in every relationship things were not working out, their determination to succeed made them persist with the marriage rather than give up on it. As my mother used to say, ‘You may not come first in every race you swim, but you can certainly try.’ Doing as well as you could at what you set out to do was an integral aspect of my parents’ lives whether it was marriage, academia or sport. Despite being in his late 80’s my father enjoys playing Golf with his mates and was hugely excited when he recently scored a Hole in One.

I remember my first husband refusing to make the children’s sandwiches because it was ‘women’s work’. Equity in marital roles wasn’t even considered when my parents married but despite quickly slipping into the traditional roles of major income earner for my father and Domestic CEO for my mother, rarely did they criticise the other’s intellect. Supremely self-confident, they become excited with new ideas, new products and places. Rather than sit on an Australian beach at Christmas they will go to Lamu in Kenya. Never have they considered that they cannot achieve what they set out to do. My father raised us with the philosophy, ‘Be anything other than boring’. Now he is constantly challenged by his iPad and how to do Internet banking overseas.

I have seen my father shake his head over the amount of money my mother spends and her reply that she makes him happy so just pay up. They have shouted and yelled at each other but never kept a grudge. They have looked after each other and laughed often. They don’t always share the other’s interest in sport or art but are willing to participate.

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Although sometimes critical of the other, it is not used as a destructive weapon. Irritation at the other’s independence that can seem like neglect has not been allowed to grow into an obstacle.

They can almost predict how the other will behave and think in most situations.

Over many decades they have managed to maintain pleasure in each other’s company and a joy in making the other one happy. Even after 59 years of marriage my father knows just what jewellery will delight my mother. What did she give him? Her smile.

Playing Granny

I lay in bed hoping that the crescendo of rain on my bedroom roof indicated that it might be easing off not because I don’t like rain but tomorrow I was playing Granny for the weekend with a  2-year old grandson. My idea for a picnic at Southbank was dissolving faster than the sugar on the scrumptious doughnut drops I had planned to buy at the local markets for breakfast. There was no way I could see myself managing to juggle child on hip, basket over the shoulder, umbrella balanced precariously under chin whilst buying groceries even with a soggy husband nearby to carry the parcels. Lying there, I sifted drowsily through 30 years of memories to remember how I had entertained my three small children during wet days over summer.

‘I’m not putting that on my toast’, complained my husband looking in horror at the bright

Fabulously tactile dough

Fabulously tactile dough

blue gluggy mess that my niece helped me make very early the next morning. Thank goodness I hadn’t thrown out the wonderful recipe for play dough that is such an easy mixture for children to cook.  Hours of fun later, whilst I made chocolate cupcakes Harry made blue muffins to serve Grandpa with his coffee.

Now I am pleased that our concrete driveway has a few depressions in which the rainwater pools. These provided endless opportunities to splash the inquisitive cat.  The wisteria canopy filtered the light rain and Harry and I revisited those wonderful childhood memories of splashing through puddles. Afterwards my budding miner put buckets of sand in the water and wriggled his toes through the slush. I now have a fine dusting of sand throughout my tiled floors reminiscent of beach holidays.

A future engineer in the family.

A future engineer in the family.

However, the pièce de résistance was our firewood pile. We had cut into small lengths the floorboards that we had replaced from our front landing. These provided hours of entertainment as Harry constructed bridges, tunnels and roads beneath my washing line.  I was redundant; he was engineer and project manager as he put together metres of highway. When he ran out of his supply of clean boards, he would carry pieces into Grandpa’s study asking for assistance in removing the nails from the lengths I had set aside. Watching from a distance with a coffee I realised he didn’t need the bright colours or complex connecting shapes. He was completely happy just placing the lengths on top of each other, beside and end to end. Occasionally he would drive his Matchbox car along the route making car sounds but most of the time he constructed and pulled apart his highway.

Not once over the weekend did we need to turn on the television or computer games. He was totally absorbed playing with dough, sand, water and timber. Occasionally he would sit and draw me a picture, and when tired we would read books. The joy was in watching this small child use his imagination to entertain himself. I was always there watching, encouraging and interested but rarely was I needed to participate. Exhausting but rewarding.

I did have a wry smile to myself when later that week, my son who had been babysitting for a day commented on how little time one got to do things and how intense it was when looking after a small child. Tell me about it.